Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize