So drunk its hurt
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!