I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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