Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?