I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
