Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
