Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dick very happy bro
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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