god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
