Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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