Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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