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you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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