The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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