absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize