Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick