I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.