I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize