Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
