so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
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Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just want to make out with him forever
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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