I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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