yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
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I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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so much tequila, so little girl.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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