he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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