So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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