Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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I just found puke in my bra..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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