operation have a gay friend backfired
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
