What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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