i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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