at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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