SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
