Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize