Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras