my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Who the fuck stole my fridge again