The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We left an ass print on the piano.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.