Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
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There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going