btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Girls should come with a carfax report
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
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One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.