so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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