so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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