i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!