my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind