On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.