I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO