try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
