I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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