yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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