i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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