forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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