A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize