$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
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his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?