Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.