No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
They have beer where we have blood.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico