i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
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Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
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i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.