Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
