We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
