She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
