My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You ruined the universe
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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