I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
