dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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