Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
