No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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