I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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