Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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