I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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