Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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